It's not you; it's May

Originally Appeared in : 9912-6/6/19

It’s not you; it’s May and end of the year collections and pool parties will be ancient history. It will all be behind us. But today, as I write my column, I’m staring it down. I’m right smack dab in the middle of the last week of school, and life feels nuts.


Every time I look at my smart phone another message has come in with new information. Another donation to the collection for teacher’s gifts. Another question about how many gift bags we should get for the tables at graduation, and how many balloons we need to decorate the gym. Did you know there is a helium shortage? Well I do, and it’s greatly impacting my plans for balloon bouquets at our graduation reception.


It’s all going to be great. But it doesn’t feel too calm right now. Even as I write (in my favorite little nook in one of my favorite little writing spots) a group of co-workers has walked in together, happy to be meeting up for breakfast after attending a conference. They came and sat at the table right next to mine. I got up and moved, but not before explaining that the spot I really wanted had just come open (an even smaller nook in the way back of the restaurant). I didn’t want to be rude.


“It’s not you,” I started to say, wanting to explain that the night before I had been at a five-hour swim meet, the first year we have ever started the swim season before ending the school year. I wanted to let the woman still seated at the table know that it wasn’t her group that was the issue but my need to get some work done super duper quick while also mentally gearing up to head out and chaperone Isabel’s class party at a neighbor’s pool.


But I just smiled and told the woman I liked her lipstick (it was beautiful) and scurried to the quieter spot.


It’s not you, everyone around me. It’s me.


It’s not you; it’s May.


And I know May will soon be over. It will be done by the time you read this, and June and a deep exhale and a slower pace will be here. Summer of course brings its own unique set of challenges, but running around like a crazy person and staring down a daily schedule with hourly To Do’s just isn’t part of the deal.


Yesterday I literally drove around in a circle in a small parking lot, not sure if I should wait the extra 10 minutes before the shop opened or go on to the next errand. That’s nuts. That’s a ridiculous pace. But there I was, wheeling my 12-passenger van into one space and then backing out and then twirling around. I decided to wait, only to get a text reminding me that I was overdue turning in my headcount and money for the high school honor’s banquet, so I did one more circle and went off to pay up.


Thanks for listening to all this. It’s been therapeutic to share. If I were reading the ramblings of someone sharing all this I’d be inclined to say something like this.


“Girl,” I would say, taking this person by the hand and looking her in the eyes with great love, “Calm down. Calm your bad self down!”


But then I would add this: “Girl, you are doing awesome. I know May is crazy and even though you shouldn’t live at this pace it’s all stuff that is good and necessary and here’s the best part: It’s short-lived. It will be over soon. Only a few more days to go, so keep your eyes on the prize and don’t lose your peace.”


If you see me, feel free to remind me of all this. But the best part is, I think I will have recovered by then.


Rachel Balducci is a wife and mother of six. She and her husband Paul are members of Most Holy Trinity Catholic Church in Augusta, GA. Her latest book, Make My Life Simple, is available on Amazon.

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